In Memory of Cassandra Yazzie-Hotchkiss

While I have a few minutes here this morning I thought I would jot down what’s been going on.  As recent updates have said Amada is home which is great  other than the fact that we miss her so much.  After a tragedy like this I just want to be right next to my kids at all times.  She is doing very well considering.  Her grief over Cassandra seems to be playing out in a  way that would make Cas proud.   The two of them saw themselves in one another and when amada was asked what she wanted for Christmas she knew right away, a video camera!  Cas would say sometimes that the only thing more dangerous than an Indian Lawyer was an Indian with a Video Camera.

Dante is out of Intensive care!  If you could see the difference between him one week ago and today you would have a hard time denying the power of prayer.  He is going to be fine.   He isn’t talking too much yet but that is really his character.  We still have a tough road ahead explaining to him about his mom.  He was so happy to be coming to live with us and you could really feel his little heart being made whole again with him reuniting with his mom and brother in our family.   I am working with Roger and Terry as best as I know how to see that his mom’s wishes for him are carried out.  That he grows to know his culture and people.  That he can experience the amazing and powerful impact his mom had through her friends and mentors.  That he knows the power that honest and sincere prayer carries with it and that he has that in his little toolbox for life.

Noah is our hero.  I have received several emails from the first people to arrive on the scene and the EMTS who have all expressed this.  He had dialed 911 and kept his siblings calm until help arrived at which point he was able to give them all of our information.  After several weeks Noah has not regained feeling in his legs.  The doctors have classified his injury as complete.  Statistically people with complete spinal chord injuries have a 3% chance of regaining function below the point of injury.  There is no easy way to tell this to a boy whose dream was to play professional soccer.  He is an athletic kid a rad snowboarder, rock climber, mountain biker, kayaker an all around Durango kid.  Best of all Noah is a hard worker.  That being said we’ll take 3%.  In reality there was a much smaller chance of him becoming a professional soccer player yet he was willing to work hard to achieve that goal.  We’ll take 3% and pile on top of it all of our prayers and community support and we will work hard to achieve that goal.  More than ever I am realizing that the treasures in life are in the hard work more than the results or in the words of that incredible songstress Miley Cyrus “ It’s the climb”(Amada’s favorite).

I want to note here as well that Roger, Terry, my kids’ Mom Kimberly and Dante’s Father Chad have all been heroic themselves.  In the mess of relationships that a blended family brings everyone has been supportive and kind to one another which is something that Cas was always so good at fostering.

As  for myself,  I have always felt as if I was living between two worlds and that has just been amplified.   This aspect of my character has always been something I have struggled with and like most things in life has its good parts and bad parts.   I am obviously devastated by losing my best friend and wife, the consequences of which become more and more real everyday.  At the same time I have never had such strong glimpses of heaven on earth, of Cas leading me and being part of all of the creation around me in the wind and the snow, this is also becoming more and more real to me each day.   I hope I can find the words someday to express my thankfulness when I consider the gifts that she gave to me.  As well as the thankfulness for the thoughts and prayers of all of those who have reached out to us in thought and prayer.  From my oldest friends, the Kashatus’,  the Cate School Community, our many Church Families,  our Native American church Family,  Indian Country as a whole( who knows and understands these tragedies all too well).  I have never been a rich man but we have been incredibly blessed with friends and family.  Bless all of you.